I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
