Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
