I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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