smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
