Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
