My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
