the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
