he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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