this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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