i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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