OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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