respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Let's paint friendship bongs
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I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize