i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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