and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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