So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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