Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
