I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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