So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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