It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
