we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
3 2 1 whiskey
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize