look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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