God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
