Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's blow job season.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
