She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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