What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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