Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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