Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize