Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
