This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
