I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize