There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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