did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
