similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
