your parents love me but you hate me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
