You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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