why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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