Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
