Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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