when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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