then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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