My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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