is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to sanitize my soul.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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