no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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