i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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