you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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