You made me cry and you don't even care
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
