Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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