Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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