she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
