Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Pooping to opera.