my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
