maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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