oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
