remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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