Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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