i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
