tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
