You smell like a Billy Joel song
if only i could text you this smell
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize