So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
