I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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