He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize