I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
